Healthy Admiration vs. Obsession: Where Do You Draw the Line?

Uzone.id — We all have someone we admire—whether it’s a K-pop idol, a historical figure, or even a fictional character. Parasocial relationships, where fans form one-sided bonds with public figures, are often linked to intense fan behavior. With social media playing such a big role, the line between fans and celebrities can become blurred.

It goes beyond simple admiration. These relationships can spark vivid imaginations in our minds, and when taken to the extreme, they can turn into full-blown obsessions.

“These relationships can create illusions of intimacy, friendship, and identification,” said Grace Yeoh from CNA.

While admiring someone’s achievements or lifestyle can be inspiring, when does that admiration turn into something unhealthy?

Admiration: The healthy boost we all need

Admiration can lead to positive emotions like gratitude, which in turn increases your overall well-being. 

“Admiration involves feeling positive about the achievement of an excellent other,” quoted from a journal called “Admiration: A Conceptual Review”.

Admiring someone shouldn’t mean losing yourself—instead, it should inspire you to grow. When you see greatness in someone, it can motivate you to strive for your potential.

Admiration is a natural and healthy reaction to someone’s success, character, or talents. Whether it’s a musician you love, a mentor at work, or a K-pop idol whose content brightens your day, that admiration can drive you to become a better version of yourself.

It’s like motivation with a hint of curiosity, inspiring us to become better versions of ourselves. 

“Admiration involves respect and positive regard for others. It’s uplifting and can drive us to achieve our own goals,” said Psychologist Dr. Carla Marie Manly.

And the other side is… obsession

Admiring someone isn’t a mistake–when you know exactly your limits, once you can’t control it, this feeling will go wrong. 

According to a recent study by the American Psychological Association, 10% of adults in the United States experience some form of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD).

When admiration turns into obsession, it starts affecting your mental and emotional health. Obsession is an unhealthy attachment that takes over your thoughts, often leading to feelings of anxiety, jealousy, and low self-worth. 

Instead of being inspired by someone’s success, you start comparing yourself to them constantly. You start investing your whole time and energy into them. It’s like you’re losing yourself and the only ‘world’ you live in is them.

“Obsession is a disorder that can have a significant negative impact on a person’s life. It can lead to relationship problems, job loss, and even legal trouble,” said Psychotherapist David Cohen.

When you’re obsessed, you might start stalking their every move, getting emotionally distressed if they do something you disagree with, or even trying to imitate them to the point of losing your individuality.

How to spot the signs of obsession?

The common sign of obsession starts when you have intrusive thoughts about them. You can’t stop thinking about the person you’re obsessed with.

Without you realizing it, you start doing compulsive behaviors. Engage in repetitive behaviors, such as stalking, checking social media, or hoarding memorabilia.

Then you start feeling jealous and angry at anyone who gets close to the person you’re obsessed with. In extreme cases, obsession can lead to violent behavior physically. 

So how to keep it healthy?

It’s important to maintain your boundaries. Admire people for what they do or how they inspire you, but remember that they’re human too. No one’s perfect.

If you find yourself doing things that lead to obsession, take breaks from social media. Set limits on your screen time, unfollow accounts that make you feel bad, and focus on nurturing real-world relationships and experiences.

Admiration and obsession may start in the same place, but they lead to very different destinations. 

Admiration empowers you, while obsession drains you. By setting boundaries, staying grounded in your reality, and appreciating your journey, you can enjoy the benefits of healthy admiration without slipping into obsession.