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Uzone.id – Are you a huge fan of idols? Or part of a fandom? Just like Army for BTS, or Belieber for Justin Bieber? Then, you might be familiar with the term “Parasocial”.
It’s simply when you feel super connected to a celebrity, YouTuber, or influencer—like you know everything about them and are invested in their lives. That emotional attachment–even though you’ve never met them and they don’t know your existence is called a parasocial relationship.
It’s a one-sided relationship where you feel close to someone who doesn’t know you exist. With social media making us more connected with anyone, parasocial relationships are becoming more common, especially among younger generations–who love admiring people from afar.
But what exactly is a parasocial relationship? How do they arise, and what do they mean for us?
The first question is… What is a parasocial relationship?
A parasocial relationship happens when one person feels a strong emotional connection to someone they’ve never met, often a public figure—you can say actor, singer, athlete, or even 2D characters or fictional characters from books and comics.
The key thing here is that the relationship is one-sided. You know everything about this person’s life, but they don’t know anything about you—even your existence.
The term was coined by psychologists Donald Horton and R. Richard Wohl in the 1950s, specifically in 1956. It was the era when televisions and radio became widely available, and TV viewers began to develop the “illusion of intimacy” with the characters on the screen.
Unlike today, back then, people felt connected to news anchors, talk show hosts, or fictional characters from TV shows.
Now, with social media adding fuel, these connections have gotten even stronger and wider because we feel like we “know” those people (influencers, idols, etc) who share intimate details about their lives daily—on the screen.
“Although parasocial relationships are inherently imaginary, they can feel real for the person experiencing them. An individual may see in, or project onto, a celebrity a range of emotions that mirror their feelings and challenges,” mentioned Psychology Today.
Why do people form parasocial relationships?
So why do parasocial relationships happen? Well, it’s not just a single impact but formed for a variety of reasons. A big part of it comes down to how accessible and relatable people seem online.
“When so much of our time is spent online or watching TV or movies, we’re naturally inclined to recognize the faces we repeatedly see and develop warm feelings for them,” quoted from Psychology Today.
Idols, celebrities, influencers, and content creators often share personal stories, struggles, and even day-to-day moments that make them feel more like friends than unreachable celebrities. That’s when the warm feeling’s blooming.
Another possible cause is loneliness. Some research suggests that the lonelier an individual feels, the more likely they are to engage in parasocial relationships, seeking a connection in some form, if not in real life.
Dr. John Maltby, a professor of psychology at the University of Leicester, explained, “People are drawn to parasocial relationships because they provide a safe space for emotional attachment without the fear of rejection or judgment.”
With parasocial relationships, you’re taking a big part in controlling your feelings. For many, this feels comforting and gives them a sense of connection without the complexities of real-life relationships.
Are parasocial relationships harmful?
While parasocial relationships can feel meaningful and positive, they aren’t always risk-free. In some cases, they can lead to unrealistic expectations and obsession especially when someone is overly invested in the life of a public figure.
If you’re relying too much on a parasocial relationship for emotional fulfillment, it could take you away from real-life connections. And you’re going to lose so many things.
“When we invest a lot in a parasocial relationship, it can create a distorted sense of reality. You might feel close to someone who doesn’t even know you exist, which can cause feelings of loneliness or disappointment in the long run,” said Dr. Rachel Kowert, a research psychologist.
Just so you know, parasocial relationships are not THAT harmful, and unhealthy parasocial relationships don’t always happen to anyone–especially when you know the limit.
Many people benefit from them! Having someone to “follow” or look up to can provide inspiration, motivation, and even comfort.
The effect of parasocial relationships
Even though it’s just a one-sided and illusion relationship, parasocial relationships offer some real emotional benefits.
Just like Dr. Rachel Kowert, a research psychologist stated, this relationship can provide comfort during times of loneliness. For example, during a pandemic, parasocial relationships grew stronger when many people spent their lives at home, watching TV and scrolling social media.
A 2021 study in The Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that parasocial relationships helped reduce feelings of loneliness for many people, especially those isolated from friends and family.
However, it’s important to be worried and aware when people become so obsessed with parasocial relationships and invest too much in these one-sided connections.
This can lead to emotional distress if the influencer or celebrity they admire doesn’t live up to expectations. The illusion of friendship can also cause people to neglect real-life connections, focusing more on online relationships than those with family or friends.
How to keep parasocial relationships under control
It’s okay to have parasocial relationships, but like anything, balance is key. Control your emotions and do not let it become an obsession.
Parasocial relationships can offer inspiration, entertainment, or even motivation, but it’s important to remember they’re one-sided– only you’re involved. These people don’t know you personally, and focusing too much on these relationships can take you away from real-world connections.
“It’s important to maintain a healthy balance between parasocial relationships and real-life social interactions. While it’s fine to admire or feel connected to public figures, it shouldn’t replace meaningful relationships in your daily life,” said Dr. Marisa Cohen, a relationship scientist.
If you find yourself spending too much time doing your parasocial relationship with celebrities or influencers, take a moment to step back and focus on your own life. Invest in friendships, family, and personal interactions that allow for reciprocal connection—where both people give and take emotionally.
